Hail Mary

Originally written 07/13/2015

“Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.  Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.  Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen” 

I have probably prayed the Hail Mary thousands of times in my life.  Sometimes my prayer is done like a Marian marathon runner…hurrying to get through the prayers of the rosary so that I can do something else. In hindsight, most of the time that I am rushing through my prayers, I am doing so to free myself to do something else; go to bed, get a bite to eat, waste time on the Internet, or any other meaningless task.  However, lately I have been graced to pray a bit more deliberately. 

Almost a year ago, 93 year old “Nana” fell and broke her hip.  She was admitted to the hospital where she had emergency surgery.  While recovering from the hip surgery, the symptoms of congestive heart failure appeared.  If I had to choose a word to describe Nana’s spirituality, I would select, “prayerful.”  Nana had a deep faith, and through her actions, taught all of us the importance of trust and prayer.  Nana prayed for everything.  If someone didn’t come home on time, she went off to her room and prayed.  If someone wasn’t feeling well, off she went.  At the time of breaking her hip and hospitalization, Nana told me that she could not pray.  She was in too much pain and suffering to utter the words that had given her so much hope previously.  I told her that perhaps the pain and suffering that she was going through were now her prayer.  At times like these, words are insufficient.  Words become meaningless.  In her prayer of suffering, she could now connect with Christ’s passion and His suffering.  Yet, I could tell that Nana just wanted the grace to pray. 

So when sitting in the hospital with Nana one day, I reached into my pocket, took hold of my rosary and asked her, “Nana, would you like me to pray the rosary, and you can just listen?” It was as if she had received a great gift, and perhaps she did.  I pulled a chair alongside her bed, and began to pray in Portuguese the prayers of the rosary.  Nana occasionally joined in, and when we were through, she thanked me profusely.  Over several weeks, we prayed the rosary in this way.  As her pain and anxiety alleviated, her desire to pray increased, and we shared many beautiful moments praying the rosary together.  It became “our thing” to do.  Fast forward almost a year.  We continue to pray the rosary together as Nana spends what appear to be her last days in the Marian Manor nursing home.   

Nana and her roommate have become accustomed to me praying the rosary with them at night time.  When it is just the three of us, we take out our beads, and begin our prayers.  I’ve learned that the rosary helps to calm them both at night.  I’ve also learned that the pace of the rosary can help with that calming.  When praying, I deliberately pray at a slower pace that somehow matches an ideal breathing pattern for a person suffering from congestive heart failure.  It is a technique that I learned in a music therapy workshop, except the music I was singing, was that of prayerful repetition. Praying at a slower pace facilitates slower breathing, and also facilitates a more meditative prayer.  For Nana, who already struggles with breathing, praying at a slower pace enables her to catch her breath, breathe steadily, and to really contemplate.  I’m sure that when one is at the end stages of life, each word of the prayer becomes important. 

When praying with these two women, advanced in years, and each facing their unique challenges, the words, “pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death” have much greater meaning.  Death isn’t a far-away concept, it’s a daily possibility.  Death isn’t something they are praying for a miracle for someone else to avoid.  At times, they are praying for their own death, for it to be peaceful, and for Our Lady to be there with them.  At times Nana has said to me that she can no longer take the suffering and prays for God to remember her.  For her, I’m sure that to pray for Mary’s intercession at the hour of her death has much more meaning than it does for a child who is just learning the prayer, or even for a grown man rushing through his prayers.  For me, praying with these two women have made me slow down my pace, and to truly pray each word of every prayer.  Praying for the hour of our death, has taught me to truly pray this prayer.

The Hail Mary is more than just a prayer to our Mother for these two ladies.  The prayer is the source of comfort.  The prayer is a promise that Mary will take the words that we pray to the feet of our Lord, and to intercede for these, her sinful children.  The prayer brings hope.  Hope in Mary’s love; hope in the resurrection; hope in the promises of Mary’s Son, our Lord, Jesus Christ. 

“Oh my Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of hell.  Lead all souls to Heaven, especially those in most need of thy mercy.”