Suscipe Domine

Originally written 07/19/2015 7:22 p.m.

Take Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will, all that I have and possess. Thou hast given all to me. To Thee, O lord, I return it. All is Thine,

dispose of it wholly according to Thy will. Give me Thy love and thy grace, for this is sufficient for me."

St. Ignatius of Loyola

The prayer of surrender and trust is never more real to me than when I walk through the halls of Marian Manor. Every day I see the same faces of the beautiful residents who make up this special family. I try to make an effort to calm myself down, and mindfully greet each resident as I pass by them. Sometimes, there are so many residents sitting in the great hall that my "hellos" are more generalized and less personal. But when I am able to truly experience the presence of each resident, I feel the presence of Christ, and the essence of this profound prayer, the Suscipe Domine, that Saint Ignatius has left for us.

There is one resident in particular that as I walk by tells me daily, "I love you!"  And every day, I respond to her, "and I love you too, Ana!"  Her reply is always a heartfelt, "Thank you!"  Her smile and her childlike trust and love remind me that the greatest gift that each of us can share with one another is the gift of love and presence. The few seconds of that interaction brings a smile to Ana's face, and fills me with the understanding of faith, hope, and charity...and why charity is the greatest gift of all.

As in the Suscipe Domine, whether through their own petition or not, some residents have already given their memory and understanding back to God. For some, just because they recognize me on one day is no guarantee that they will remember me the next. For others, I know that they have no idea who I am, where they are, or little else of what is going on..  But I know in my heart that they are aware of something larger than all of us, God's love and grace, manifest in the love and care of others.

There was once a resident who was a Dorothean nun. I remembered her from my youth at Our Lady of Mount Carmel School in New Bedford.  In my adult years, she tutored me in the Portuguese language. In her Alzheimer's, she did not recognize me. One of her fellow sisters told me that her favorite prayer when she had her senses was the Suscipe. She lived her entire life in trust and self-abandonment to God. Although at times she could not communicate verbally, there was something about her presence that clearly communicated Christ's love and joy! She was at times Christ for those she came in contact with.  

Sometimes, Christ's touch comes in the gentle smile and warm caress of nurses, families, and friends. Other times, God's love and grace is present in the tears and heart ache of loving family. Still other times, God's love and grace is found in those who tirelessly clean, feed, and care for God's precious children.  But the most profound moments when Christ is truly present, and God's graces are felt are those moments sitting somewhat quietly with a loved one, speaking of the reality of death, praying our joys and sorrows together, and simply being...being still and knowing that God is our midst. It's at those times that we surrender all that we have, surrender our desires, and surrender our will for God's will. In those moments, we return to God what he has given to us, our loved ones. In those moments we know that in the love that our family members had for us, we need to love enough to let them go.