Live each day as if it was your last
"Live each day as if it was your last."
It has often been said, "live each day as if it was your last." The quote has been attributed to so many famous people, as if they had some tremendous insight and wisdom that's been unknown for time. But yet, the concept is a simple truth that has been spoken for many centuries. I often reflect on these words from the book of Ecclesiastes 7:2, "It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, because that is the end of every man, and the living takes it to heart." Nobody can escape death. We should all be aware that those who live, will one day die. Every day is a gift.
Oftentimes, death comes like a thief in the night, unexpectedly or sometimes even violently. People sometimes express regret with words like, "I wish I had...." or "If only I had said..." People wish for just one more day with their loved ones to be able to finally forgive, or to tell them how they feel, or to ask for forgiveness.
When we embrace that death is a natural part of living, we know that every day that we interact with another should be the time to make things right. I have learned this lesson in a profound way when I decided to dedicate a block of time weekly to my aging father. My father was once telling his sibling about our visits, and said, "Mariano knows I'm not going to be alive forever, and we are making the most of our time." At some point, we both had a realization that we were in the process of saying our goodbyes. Whether those goodbyes will last a few years, or a few decades is a mystery. Whether my father will die first or I will die before my father is still unknown. So, we'll spend each moment appreciating the gift that moment is.
Not too long ago, while surfing social media, I came across a post of James Blunt singing a new song that he had written for his father. In the music video, the camera was zoomed in on his face. His eyes were filling with tears. His singing was raw and filled with emotion. (The link to the video is below.) As the video continued, the camera panned out to show James' father sitting by his side. His song brought me to tears, and to once again ponder what it means to take to heart our ends, rather than feasting and living only in the moment. I learned later that the song was written for his father who was battling a terminal illness.
Listening to the lyrics, I was reminded that relationships can be fragile. We all make mistakes. Many of us have mastered the art of holding a grudge rather than the grace of forgiveness. At some point in time, we need to come to the realization that expressing our love for another is more important than what has happened in the past, the roles or titles we have, and anything else that gets in the way of peace. Some lyrics were profound for me. "I am not your son. You're not my father. We're just two grown men saying our goodbyes. No need to forgive. No need to forget. I know your mistakes and you know mine."
I once had a discussion with my father (when he was reminding me of my disobedience in my teenage years) that ended with me sharing this insight with my father. I told my father that I was aware of my shortcomings as a son. I also told him that if he searched his heart, he mind become aware of some of his shortcomings as a father. However, we can't turn back time, and rather than spending time looking back at what has passed, let's instead focus our attention and energies on making the most of the time we have left, and truly enjoying every moment of that time.
Back to social media for a moment. I once saw a video where a wise man asked a young man, "how often do you see your parents?" The younger man stated that because his parents lived out of state, he could only visit his parents twice a year. The wise man asked him based on their age, how long the young man thought that his parents would live. The man answered probably five to ten years, if they were lucky. The wise man said, well, then the reality is that you have about ten to twenty more visits with your parents. How are you going to make those visits matter?
The best goodbye that we can give to a loved one is not an event. It is a process. The best goodbye that we can live is a hearty hello, a profound conversation, the sharing of joys and pains with your loved one. The best goodbyes are those that acknowledge that time is fleeting, and that tomorrow is not guaranteed. I have learned in life that the greatest gift that we can give another is to be truly present with that other person. "Live each day as if it was your last."
Here are the lyrics (and link) to the song, "Monsters" by James Blunt.
I won't read you your wrongs or your rights
The time has gone
I'll tell you goodnight, close the door
Tell you I love you once more
The time has gone
So here it is
We're just two grown men saying goodbye
No need to forgive, no need to forget
I know your mistakes and you know mine
And while you're sleeping I'll try to make you proud
So, daddy, won't you just close your eyes?
Don't be afraid, it's my turn
To chase the monsters away
Only difference is this one is true
The time has gone
I folded your clothes on the chair
I hope you sleep well, don't be scared
The time has gone
So here it is
We're just two grown men saying goodbye
No need to forgive, no need to forget
I know your mistakes and you know mine
And while you're sleeping I'll try to make you proud
So, daddy, won't you just close your eyes?
Don't be afraid, it's my turn
To chase the monsters away
Yes, and breathe a last word
You can feel my hand on your own
I will be the last one
So I'll leave a light on
Let there be no darkness, in your heart
We're just two grown men saying goodbye
No need to forgive, no need to forget
I know your mistakes and you know mine
And while you're sleeping I'll try to make you proud
So, daddy, won't you just close your eyes?
Don't be afraid, it's my turn
To chase the monsters away
Comments
Post a Comment