Better to mourn than to feast?

Ecclesiastes 7:2 tells us that, "it is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting: for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart."  On this day after Thanksgiving, this passage speaks to my heart so profoundly. 

Thanksgiving day is perhaps my favorite holiday, one that is about being grateful and being with those we love.  As always, this year I again enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving day.  There was an overabundance of food and drink, laughs, stories, sports, and family.  We ate in ways that we do not normally eat...and then continued to eat after we overate.  The wine jugs were refilled often.  No matter how many times we repeated, "I ate too much" we continued to eat some more.  Thankfully, intertwined in the moments of feasting, we paused to thank our God for all of His goodness to us. 

Prior to our overeating, we stopped to give thanks, and to pray for those who have gone before us.  In a special way, we remembered my sister-in-law's grandmother, who recently passed away at the young age of 96.  I have to admit that several times during the day, I looked to an empty seat and could almost see her sitting there with her beautiful smile and her gentle presence.  I wanted to tell my family my thoughts, but thought they would think me mad. (Or perhaps they would think me madder than usual.) In the midst of feasting, I was in the house of mourning.  I was thankful for every day that we have with each and every person whom I love, but was appreciating that every life has its end. I was very aware that we can never know who will or will not be with us at our next family feast.

I think that is what Ecclesiastes speaks of, that knowledge that we are not immortal. If we live only for ourselves and for our self-pleasure, without account of God or each other, we will perish.  But if we live, and live in the love of God and in service to one another, if we profess our faith in Jesus Christ, we will live forever.  Romans 14 teaches, "For not one of us lives for himself, and not one dies for himself; for if we live, we live for the Lord, or if we die, we die for the Lord; therefore whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s. For to this end Christ died and lived again, that He might be Lord both of the dead and of the living." 

This morning I awoke to a phone call from my sister that a dear cousin is in her last days.  She and I are very close in age, and it goes without saying that I love her so much.  She has been courageously battling leukemia for some time.  Again, I find myself in the house of mourning, contemplating her and my own mortality. She and I share a love of laughter. It never failed that when we were together, we would laugh so much that tears would roll down our faces.  Today I texted her, "I wish I had a joke, or something funny to make you laugh just one more time," but the reality is that I will not have that opportunity to do so.  She has lived her very short life incredibly well and is an inspiration to me, and those who saw the way she fought this battle. I want to go and hug her one last time, to wrap my arms around her one last time, to share a laugh one last time, and just to see her once more, but the distance between my home and Montreal is too great, and the time too short. But it's okay. I have only good memories of my cousin.  I shared many laughs, many hugs, and many visits.  When God calls her home, I know that she (and we her family) will be at peace, and she will suffer no longer.  I know her father and my mother (and so many other family members) will be there with the choir of angels to welcome her to her eternal reward. 

 
During this Christmas season, we will busy ourselves with gift-giving, decorating, feasting, and shopping.  I'm not criticizing any of that.  But if we are doing it all without thinking about our mortal selves, and about where our relationships are with the reason for the season, it is all foolish feasting. Today, I am thankful for the gift of family, the gift of love, the gift of laughter, and the gift of life.  I am so grateful that God has put people in my life who are His presence to me in this world.

Colossians 3: 12- 17    Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.  Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Ah, one final thought... To me, the house of mourning isn't about sadness.  It's about joy!  A life well-lived in the company of God and the love of neighbor leads to happiness and pure love.  When I think of Mrs. Correia, while I am sad that she wasn't physically with us, I am thankful for having known her.  When I think of my cousin, I am sad that she will be called home and that I won't see her for awhile.  Yet, I am filled with joy just thinking of her and her fun and loving spirit. I am happy to think of the joyful reunion she will have with her father and my mother. And I am thankful because my life is better simply because I knew and loved her, and I know that she loved me too. 

Comments

  1. I know exactly how you feel. These past few years in my life have been bittersweet. I enjoy spending as much time with my family as I can, especially my parents, but as I am enjoying the time, I am also thinking about the end of their lives and how sad I will be to see them go as I watch them age before my eyes. I feel life is so fragile...I try to enjoy life, but worry tries to creep in. My faith keeps me focused on our eternal lives, but it is easy to stray.
    Your beautiful, smiling cousin I'm sure will be enjoying the company of angels. People who have endured such suffering here on earth surely have earned an easier entry into heaven.

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