Monday Morning Blues


Monday! Monday! 

I have to admit that I am struggling in my professional life.  It’s somewhat strange to admit, because there are so many things about my professional life that I love.  I love the work that I do.  I love the people that I work with. I feel that I am good at what I do.  A few of my coworkers have even become like family to me.  What I don’t like is the very negative and political nature of my workplace.  There is a complete and utter lack of trust in the organization.   Employees don’t trust management. Management doesn’t trust the employees.  Our words are all the right words to say.  Our actions don’t agree with our words.  

As I was rounding the corner to approach the parking lot at work this morning, the first thing I noticed was the car of an executive leader.  Just seeing the car gave me a feeling of dread about what craziness I might experience this day.  Without thinking, I quietly said to the car (in place of its owner), “God, I hate you.”  As soon as I said what I did, I felt a punch in the stomach as if God was responding to me in that moment with a, “yes, you do hate Me,” as if I had addressed Him, and not the car.  

As I was parking my car, I immediately thought of the words,  "Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen." ... For the person who does not love his brother or sister whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen."

My comment came from a moment of Monday morning blues. I was dreading going back to the office after a week of working in the quiet and peace of my own home  Let me be clear that I don’t hate that senior leader.   But let me be even clearer, I don’t love that person in the way that I am called to love them either. 

So, my prayer for this morning is, “God, give me the grace to love all of my brothers and sisters in the way that You love them, especially those who I find it most difficult to love.”  I am a work in progress, and God still has much work to do in me.    

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